My scar does not make me less of a woman, it is the definition of my story and my strength to become a mother.
~ Andrea Marsh
While we typically use our Wednesday Weigh In’s for all the brides and grooms out there planning their big days, today specifically we wanted to focus on awareness. Something that hits me in the gut, literally. Today this post is for all the mamas out there. Spread kindness, share love and show support.
Some of you may already know that the month of April is C-Section Awareness month. And I”m not here to lessen the birth experience of vaginal birth or say one way is right over the other. You do what is safest for you and your baby.
While some people think there are two kinds of moms… those who have c-sections and those who do not, this is an argument causing separation and making one or the other feel like less of a mother who did or didn’t do the ‘right’ thing.
I can say for certain I was someone who was never going to have a c-section, I had a plan! A plan that would not involve going under the knife. A plan that would allow me to experience birth a different way. For me, both of my babies being born by emergency c-sections, a very necessary intervention. I know I don’t owe anyone an explanation as to why but I do feel its important to stand up for those who are suffering in silence. I was judged harshly, completely shamed for having not one but two c-sections. Crazy I know. While birth to some including myself is private and an incredibly emotional event, being judged by others for having not one, but two c-sections was just wrong! I’m not alone when I say many have had to have a c-section to become a mom. Many times we don’t have the choice as its a reasoning between living or dying. Not sure about you but my choice to live and be there for these little beauties and raise them to be outstanding human beings is a very simple choice.
There are many of us out there that didn’t include this kind of emergency in their birth plan. Some of whom remain silent as they continue to silently hurt. For an emergency c-section certainly wasn’t their plan. So here’s speaking from the heart and the truth in it all:
We are still moms!
Wear your scars proud mama. For a super hero you truly are! Say it again and again, ‘my scars are beautiful’. You’re not alone. I remember feeling terrified, yet excited at the same time. It doesn’t make sense I know, but heres the justification. While I maybe didn’t know the true outcome, I knew if I didn’t have the first emergency c-section I may not be around to see my baby girl. HELLP syndrome is some scary shtuff! That was way more terrifying than going under the knife. Excitement, why you might ask, well I’ve wanted to be a mom my entire life, I have the best mom and she was raised by the best grandma I ever had, and there I was about to become a mama myself. So hell yeah I was excited! We won’t even talk pain, because in all honesty it becomes irrelevant when your holding that sweet little bundle after winning the battle. (yes, the raw emotional highs and lows, the strength of your body and thinking you don’t have it in you to keep going, and somehow your inner battle becomes courage and you continue to fight, so yes it is a battle).
The shame game needs to stop. We too, as c-section mamas deserve quietude in the way we had our babies.
No you will not see my scars, they are deeply personal and only privileged to my babies and I. They ask, I show. Every time I rub my scar its a gentle reminder of just how badass I was not once, but twice! Oh and hey, all you mamas that delivered vaginally, adopted etc, this high five is also for you, because you’re a badass mama who brought/chose that little piece of heaven to be part of your world too!
April is C-section Awareness Month